Nurturing Your Goals and Dreams

One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is make a conscious effort to nurture our goals and dreams. After all, isn't nurturing care what makes everything grow? Think of the nurturing energy you provide to your children, your pets, your spouse, and even your own personal development. Without nurturing care, living things will die.

Our dreams and goals are certainly living things, breathed into being by our own thoughts. It is vital to nurture them and encourage them to grow and thrive, or else they will surely perish. Though this may sound like common sense advice, it's amazing how many of us don't do this.

Following are the six ways to keep your dreams alive, and even better - make them thrive!

Provide a Fertile Foundation - If you begin planting your dreams in a heart and mind that is polluted with negativity or scattered with doubts, they will not be able to thrive properly. Before beginning the planting process, sweep away all unnecessary debris that could stunt the growth of your dreams. If it's too late and you've already planted the ideas, you can simply uproot them momentarily and begin again with fresh soil.

Feed Them - The most important sustenance you can feed to your dreams is love. Treat your dreams like your most precious creations. Hold them close to your heart and continue to breathe loving life into them. Hold them in a place of prominence in your mind and continue to believe in them. Dreams and goals must be fed with positive thoughts at least daily, preferably several times a day. Give them nourishing snacks of happy encouragement and watch them grow fat and happy.

Water Them - Water is the bearer of emotion and feeling. Lend as much emotional feeling to your dreams as you can, because emotion is what gives your dreams energy and animation. Visualize the outcome of your dreams and goals, and infuse this vision with emotion. Feel the joy and satisfaction of realizing your dreams. Embrace them and shed happy tears for their beauty. Feel your heart lift with awe and thanksgiving, and allow those feelings to infuse your dreams with the power to become real.

Give Them Light - Let the light shine upon your dreams, in the form of inspiration and optimism. Jealously guard your dreams from negativity like a mother bear guards her cubs from danger. If others put your dreams down, the absolute worst thing you could do is to agree with them. Honor your dreams no matter what, no matter how stupid or worthless others may think they are. What others think does not matter, only your own opinion counts. Holding your dreams in high regard will always keep a positive light shining upon them.

Prune Them - Our dreams and goals will often change over time, just as we do. The older and wiser we get, we might realize that the dreams of our youth might not suit us as we are today. Periodically, take some time to re-evaluate your dreams and goals. Take a closer look at them and decide if any aspects might be pruned away or revised slightly. Goal-setting is rarely a one-time activity. Rather, we need to consistently evaluate our progress, and adjust our actions accordingly.

Give Them Room to Grow - Part of the pruning process described above is what will create more room for your dreams to grow bigger and better. But you can also take a look at whether your original dreams were self-limiting in any way. Perhaps you held back out of fear or hesitation, and now you feel you are capable of more. Remove all doubts and uncertainties and make as much room for your dreams as you can. Once they begin to grow and take shape, they will expand and fill the space you provided for them. At that point, you might need to readjust everything again and make even more room. One can hope, right? :-)

How Important Are Your Goals?

No matter what goals you are working toward in life, you must have a strong investment in achieving them. If your goals aren’t important to you and you’ve got nothing to lose by quitting, you probably won’t summon enough motivation to get it done.

Occasionally it is possible to push yourself to do something even if it’s not that important to you, but most often that’s because you’re trying to avoid a negative consequence, not because you feel inspired about taking action.

However, when we’re talking about powerful motivation to change your life, if you don’t have a strong vested interest in the end result, you just WON’T do it - period!

Think about the last time you set a goal, like losing weight or quitting smoking. If you were not absolutely 100% committed when you got started, you likely didn’t stay with it very long.

You may have been fired up at the beginning, like most people are when they set a goal. But as time went on you either encountered obstacles that slowed your momentum, or you just lost the passion and fire for the end result, so you quit.

Making positive changes in your life is no different. No matter how hard you work at the beginning, if the changes you’re trying to make aren’t crucially important to you, you just won’t have the determination to see them all the way through.

Before you begin working on any goal, first ask yourself how important the end result is to you. How badly do you want it? How hard are you willing to work for it? What will happen if you don’t make it? Will you be able to accept the consequences, or are they simply unthinkable? Be honest with yourself!

Your answers to these questions are what will determine your probability of success. If you want it THAT badly, if it’s THAT important to you, you will do whatever you have to do to achieve it.

If your goal isn’t that important and you’re thinking wishy-washy thoughts like, “Well, it would be nice to achieve that goal . . .” – Stop right there because “nice” won’t cut it! Choose another goal.

You need a goal that is truly important to you - and I mean VITALLY important. Once you set a goal with that level of importance attached to it, you will ultimately realize that you can’t NOT do it. Not doing it means staying where you are. Not doing it means resigning yourself to circumstances that don’t make you happy. Not doing it will be completely unacceptable to you. You will find that you simply cannot tolerate the thought of accepting anything less than your ultimate dream coming true.

And that’s when the magic happens! That’s when you blot out distractions, put your head down and get to work. That’s when you get to see what you’re really made of. When you reach that stage of thought, you have already won - you just need to bring it forth into tangible reality.

How to Stay Focused on Your Goals

One of the biggest challenges of achieving our goals is being able to stay focused long enough to see results. Most of us feel excited and motivated when we first set our goals, and that feeling can carry us along for several days, or even weeks. But then, what happens? We begin to lose momentum. We get scattered, we procrastinate, we lose the fire that once fueled our dreams. And we stop working so hard for what we want, even if we still want it.

There can be many reasons for our waning interest, such as not seeing visible progress as quickly as we'd like, so we begin to feel that our efforts are a waste of time. Or we lose sight of what we were working so hard for. Or we feel confused about the steps we need to take to make our dream a reality.

Since this is a common problem for many people, I'm going to offer some helpful tips to re-fuel your fire:

1) Be clear about what you want. When we first set our goals, we know exactly what we want. We have a clear picture of the outcome in our minds, and we usually know exactly how to make it happen. But once the initial excitement wears off, we might lose that clear vision and get confused. We start thinking that maybe that goal isn't achievable after all, and maybe we should aim for something smaller, or change course altogether. To stop this from happening, write out your goal in minute detail! Write about the ways it will improve your life and make you feel more fulfilled. Then make sure to read this description every single day. Even more than once a day, if you need to. Keep that vision STRONG in your mind.

2) Be clear about why you want it. The subconscious mind can be sneaky with the messages it sends us, and we might think we want something, when in fact we really want something else entirely. How can we tell what is going on beneath the surface? An excellent way to gain insight on this is to write out the question, "I want (insert your goal) because it will . . .," and write exactly what it will do for you. How it will make you feel. And then keep following up with questions that go deeper into what you really want. For example, let's say I wanted to lose 20 pounds. I would write, "I want to lose 20 pounds because it will make me feel better about myself." Following that answer, my next question would be, "Why do I want to feel better about myself?" So I would write, "I want to feel better about myself because I will be a happier person." Ah, so my TRUE goal is to be a happier person. Can I do that without losing 20 pounds? Of course. But the key isn't to talk ourselves out of our goals, it's to understand what our TRUE goals really are. Because once we understand what we really want, we will be much more focused in our efforts to achieve it.

3) Set a plan of action. How do we get to where we want to be? By defining the action steps that will get us there. This part is actually really simple. Most of us are great at planning, but not so great at taking the actions! ;-) But I do want to point out one thing here. Remember Step #2 above, my goal is to lose 20 pounds, but it's also to be a happier person. How can I do those things? Obviously, eating a balanced diet and exercising will help me shed the 20 pounds, but I also need to work on my mental and emotional state on a daily basis, in order to become a happier person. Just losing 20 pounds will not automatically make me a happier person. So included in my action steps should be positive thinking techniques that will make me feel happier, such as affirmations, meditation, positive self-talk, etc. Our action steps need to be VERY detailed. In fact, with most goals, we can come up with daily action steps, weekly action steps, and monthly action steps that will keep us on the right track. Think about the outcome you're trying to create, and then think about each step you will need to make it a reality.

4) Organize, review, re-organize again, and repeat. One mistake many of us make is that we set our plans and call it good. But plans need to be revised every so often to keep them fresh and relevant. Once you have your action plan set, perform a DAILY review of it to be sure you are still working toward your goals, and that your goals haven't changed since you first made your plans. Remember that our lives are not stagnant; they are always shifting and changing, as are we. So make it a daily practice to review, re-organize (if necessary), and you will be sure you are always moving forward decisively. You can do this first thing in the morning before you start your day, or in the evening before you retire so you are clear about your plans for the following day.

5) Act like it's already your reality. Finally, one of the most powerful things we can do is to act like we already have what we are trying to create. Using the example above, I would act like I weighed 20 pounds less, and I would act like I was already happy. Yes, this can be challenging to do, especially when your eyes are telling you an opposite "truth." But remember that the creation process begins in the MIND. If your mind is constantly telling you that you're fat and unhappy, guess what happens? You will believe it. If, on the other hand, you keep telling yourself that you are fit and happy, you will begin to really feel that way, and you will begin to attract that result to yourself. It takes time though. Remember that your circumstances today are a direct result of your past thoughts and beliefs, which direct your actions, which creates a certain result. If you start thinking and acting in a different way today, you will create different results tomorrow.

10 Tips For A Relaxing Holiday Season

The Holiday Season is meant to be a joyful time of year, but it can be extremely stressful for many people. You can potentially be a lot happier and enjoy a relaxing Holiday with some simple planning, lack of excess and the proper focus/perspective. Stress taxes your immune system and is detrimental to your health. For this reason, it is extremely important to adopt a more realistic and balanced approach to the Holidays.

Try these 10 easy tips:

1. Make a Holiday Budget

Decide on a budget for Holiday spending, write it down and stick to it! Excessive and impulse spending and the resulting influx of bills is one of the top Holiday stress producers. Pre-planning your Holiday budget can eliminate this added financial stress and is especially important this year with the current state of the economy.

2. Shop Early & Online

Shop early and online to avoid long lines and crowded mall parking lots. Online shopping allows you to shop at multiple stores without running all over town. Be sure to allow plenty of time for shipping and keep a written record of each purchase.

3. Wrap As You Go

Wrap gifts as you buy them instead of leaving all of the wrapping until the last minute. It’s a great idea to buy Holiday presents throughout the year when you see them, especially is they are on sale. Doing this will further illeviate the Holiday budget crunch. Stock up on more economical wrapping supplies by shopping at the after Holiday sales for next year.

4. Ship Early

Avoid long lines at the Post Office by stocking up on stamps and other shipping supplies before the Holiday rush and mailing packages as early as possible.

5. Be Realistic

Try to be realistic about your holiday commitment schedule, your holiday card list and your holiday budget. Think progress not perfection here. Learn to occasionally say no.

6. Think Positively

Remember the Reason for the Season and think about all of the good, positive things in your life at least once a day instead of focusing on the negatives. Gratitude is very powerful and uplifting.

7. Maintain A Sense of Humor

Although we love our families, too much togetherness and a multitude of varying needs can breed short tempers. Try to maintain a sense of humor and a positive attitude. If you need to, take a short "time-out" to center yourself and be at your best.

8. Take Time to Relax

Take a break by setting aside a little time for yourself over the holidays. A little solitude does wonders for stress. Read a good book, take a hot bath while listening to relaxing music, enjoy a crackling fire and some hot chocolate or meditate on the real meaning of the Holidays.

9. Let Nature Nurture

Remember that the best things in life are free. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures by getting out in nature and noticing all of the sights, sounds and scents of the Holiday Season is a great stress reliever. Be mindful and enjoy the present moment without regretting the past or worrying about the future.

10. Reconnect

Reconnect with loved ones over the Holidays. See family, call an old friend and send cards to loved ones across the miles. Sharing love is great therapy for everyone, especially those feeling lonely during the Holiday Season.

If you inevitably find yourself stressed after your best efforts, don’t panic! Try this easy "emergency" relaxation technique. Find your "Sea of Tranquility" acupressure point located in the center of your chest in the indentation about three finger widths down from your breastbone. Rest the tips of your fingers lightly on the point and very gently rub in a counter-clockwise circular motion.

As you rub, take a few slow, deep breaths (closing your eyes if possible) . . . in through your nose, out through your mouth. As you breathe in think "I am" and as you exhale think "calm".

Be sure to breathe slowly so you don’t begin to hyperventilate. This is enough to trigger your body’s natural relaxation response as well as regulate your heartrate and calm your mind.

You’ll be feeling relaxed in no time!

10 Tips For A Relaxing Holiday Season

The Holiday Season is meant to be a joyful time of year, but it can be extremely stressful for many people. You can potentially be a lot happier and enjoy a relaxing Holiday with some simple planning, lack of excess and the proper focus/perspective. Stress taxes your immune system and is detrimental to your health. For this reason, it is extremely important to adopt a more realistic and balanced approach to the Holidays.

Try these 10 easy tips:

1. Make a Holiday Budget

Decide on a budget for Holiday spending, write it down and stick to it! Excessive and impulse spending and the resulting influx of bills is one of the top Holiday stress producers. Pre-planning your Holiday budget can eliminate this added financial stress and is especially important this year with the current state of the economy.

2. Shop Early & Online

Shop early and online to avoid long lines and crowded mall parking lots. Online shopping allows you to shop at multiple stores without running all over town. Be sure to allow plenty of time for shipping and keep a written record of each purchase.

3. Wrap As You Go

Wrap gifts as you buy them instead of leaving all of the wrapping until the last minute. It’s a great idea to buy Holiday presents throughout the year when you see them, especially is they are on sale. Doing this will further illeviate the Holiday budget crunch. Stock up on more economical wrapping supplies by shopping at the after Holiday sales for next year.

4. Ship Early

Avoid long lines at the Post Office by stocking up on stamps and other shipping supplies before the Holiday rush and mailing packages as early as possible.

5. Be Realistic

Try to be realistic about your holiday commitment schedule, your holiday card list and your holiday budget. Think progress not perfection here. Learn to occasionally say no.

6. Think Positively

Remember the Reason for the Season and think about all of the good, positive things in your life at least once a day instead of focusing on the negatives. Gratitude is very powerful and uplifting.

7. Maintain A Sense of Humor

Although we love our families, too much togetherness and a multitude of varying needs can breed short tempers. Try to maintain a sense of humor and a positive attitude. If you need to, take a short "time-out" to center yourself and be at your best.

8. Take Time to Relax

Take a break by setting aside a little time for yourself over the holidays. A little solitude does wonders for stress. Read a good book, take a hot bath while listening to relaxing music, enjoy a crackling fire and some hot chocolate or meditate on the real meaning of the Holidays.

9. Let Nature Nurture

Remember that the best things in life are free. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures by getting out in nature and noticing all of the sights, sounds and scents of the Holiday Season is a great stress reliever. Be mindful and enjoy the present moment without regretting the past or worrying about the future.

10. Reconnect

Reconnect with loved ones over the Holidays. See family, call an old friend and send cards to loved ones across the miles. Sharing love is great therapy for everyone, especially those feeling lonely during the Holiday Season.

If you inevitably find yourself stressed after your best efforts, don’t panic! Try this easy "emergency" relaxation technique. Find your "Sea of Tranquility" acupressure point located in the center of your chest in the indentation about three finger widths down from your breastbone. Rest the tips of your fingers lightly on the point and very gently rub in a counter-clockwise circular motion.

As you rub, take a few slow, deep breaths (closing your eyes if possible) . . . in through your nose, out through your mouth. As you breathe in think "I am" and as you exhale think "calm".

Be sure to breathe slowly so you don’t begin to hyperventilate. This is enough to trigger your body’s natural relaxation response as well as regulate your heartrate and calm your mind.

You’ll be feeling relaxed in no time!

The Benefits of Rest and Relaxation

With the rushed busyness of our hectic lifestyle, we often underestimate the power of relaxation. Most of us have a massive to-do list each day, and we feel we can't afford to slow our pace or we'll quickly fall behind. However, we fail to acknowledge the ways that relaxation can increase our stamina, clear our thoughts, and allow us to get much more accomplished with less effort.

The other day, I put this theory to the test, and decided to spend an afternoon and evening doing the unthinkable: nothing. I was feeling stressed and run down by a crazy schedule, and even though I had a ton of stuff that needed to be done, I decided to just stop, put everything aside and do...nothing!

The results were wonderful. Instantly, I felt my stress drain away, I felt happier and I slept soundly that night. The next morning, I found that my energy and motivation had been restored, and the rest of the week was much more productive than the previous few days had been.

Why is relaxation so good for us?

1) Restores our energy. We often forget that we have a limited amount of energy to expend, and push ourselves beyond that threshold daily. However, in order to keep generating more energy, we need to let our bodies rest. Think of energy like the fuel you put into your vehicle. If you don't keep refilling the tank, the car will eventually stop. Our bodies are the same way. Just by making a point to sit and do nothing periodically and get enough sleep each night, we allow our batteries to recharge and we generate more energy we can then devote to our work and recreational activities.

2) Repairs our bodies. Our bodies are designed to repair themselves from the daily wear and tear we impose on them, and this most often happens while we rest. Most of us tend to skimp on our sleep time and push ourselves beyond our physical limits every day, which prevents us from achieving optimal health and wellness. If we are constantly on the move and not getting enough sleep, we are using most of the energy we have to keep going. That means our bodies cannot devote enough energy to healing and we suffer from fatigue or illness. By granting ourselves time to rest, we are allowing our bodies the opportunity to direct our energy to healing and restoration. Another important consideration is to eat lightly before resting, because digestion of heavy meals requires a lot of energy too. By eating small, light meals of nutritious food, we not only give our bodies a break from the intense work of digestion (which leaves more energy for healing and repair work), we also provide more energy in the form of quality fuel, which can also be used to create better health.

3) Calms our thoughts and improves focus. Just as we tend to push our bodies past their limits, our minds are constantly on the move too. Ask anyone who has an intellectually demanding job - heavy thinking can be just as draining as physical exertion. Excessive worry can also wear us down, as can constant mental chatter or any kind of mental strain. When we set aside time to relax, we should also focus on quieting our thoughts and letting our minds rest. This can often be more restorative than the physical aspects of relaxation. Another great effect is that our calm mental state improves concentration and allows us to focus better.

4) Lifts our mood. Relaxation can also help us to feel happier. Whether we let our thoughts drift aimlessly, read a good book, or listen to soothing music, just the act of resting relieves stress and allows us to feel content. We can even take a more proactive role in improving our mood during periods of rest and enhance the effect. Rather than letting our thoughts drift aimlessly, we can choose to think about things that make us feel happy, like our loved ones, friends, or pets. We can call up warm memories of good times, or imagine a beautiful sunset. Remember that our thoughts usually determine our mood. If we think happy thoughts, we feel happy.

5) Stimulates our creativity. Creativity is one of those things that gets stronger the more we focus on it, but stress and busyness disconnect us from the creative potential within us. When we finally stop rushing and set aside our worries, we create a harmonious forum for our creativity to flourish. This happens for a few reasons: First, we are not so distracted by external stimulus and can hear ourselves think again. We're more open to creative insights. Secondly, inactivity allows us to feel more connected with our inner selves, which is the source of our creative energy. And finally, creativity is a form of ENERGY, which we naturally have more of when we rest and relax.

Though it may seem counterproductive to set aside time to relax in the midst of a busy schedule, doing so can actually help us to increase our productivity, accomplish more in less time, and feel happier overall. Sounds good to me!